THERAPY FOR LOW AND MISMATCHED DESIRE

Therapy for couples where one of you wants sex more than the other, or where desire has faded for both of you and neither knows how to bring it up anymore. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and an AASECT-certified sex and couples therapist, and I work online across New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, and Florida.

Mismatched desire is one of the most common sexual issues couples face, and the usual advice makes it worse: schedule it, try harder, spice it up. In my experience the problem is rarely the lower-desire partner being broken. It’s the pattern the two of you have built around sex, where one pursues, the other avoids, and both end up feeling rejected. We work on that pattern, and on the capacity each of you has to want and be wanted.

What I work with: one partner who always initiates, sex that has become a source of tension, desire that faded after kids, stress, or years together, sex that feels like an obligation, and differences in what each of you actually wants in bed. When desire changes suddenly, I’ll also suggest a medical check, since hormones and medications can play a part.

I hold an MSW from Yeshiva University, an MA in Trauma and Crisis Studies from Tel Aviv University, and certification in sex therapy through AASECT and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. I live in Brooklyn with my husband and our dog, Bernie.