INFIDELITY AND AFFAIR RECOVERY THERAPIST
JON PREZANT, LCSW, MA, CST — AASECT-CERTIFIED SEX AND COUPLES THERAPIST
Couples therapy for the weeks and months after an affair comes to light, whether it was a physical affair, an emotional one, apps, porn, or a hidden sexual life. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and an AASECT-certified sex and couples therapist, and I work online across New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, and Florida.
Most affair recovery focuses only on rebuilding trust. That matters, but it’s half the work. The other half is understanding what the affair was about, which is often desire, loneliness, or a part of someone that had no room in the relationship. As a sex therapist, I can go into that territory with you instead of around it. I don’t decide whether you should stay together. I help you both get steady enough to decide well.
What I work with: the first weeks after discovery, questions the hurt partner can’t stop asking, the partner who had the affair and doesn’t fully understand why, emotional affairs, compulsive or secret sexual behavior, affairs in gay and straight relationships, deciding whether to stay, and rebuilding a sexual relationship afterward.
I hold an MSW from Yeshiva University, an MA in Trauma and Crisis Studies from Tel Aviv University, and certification in sex therapy through AASECT and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. I live in Brooklyn with my husband and our dog, Bernie.
WHAT CLIENTS BRING IN:
I JUST FOUND OUT
You can't sleep, can't stop checking, and can't stop replaying it. That is a normal response to a shock. We start by making the next few weeks survivable before making any big decisions.
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
Affairs often happen for reasons other than the ones couples first assume. Understanding the real reasons doesn't excuse anything. It tells you both what has to change.
I'M THE ONE WHO HAD THE AFFAIR
You want to repair things, but you're also carrying guilt, defensiveness, and maybe feelings you don't understand. You need a place to look at what happened without being reduced to it.
CAN WE HAVE SEX AGAIN?
After an affair, sex can feel impossible, or urgent in a way that's confusing. Rebuilding a sexual connection is part of recovery, and it's where my sex therapy training matters most.
Your Questions, Answered.
What to expect when you start working on this.
HOW THERAPY WORKS
Do you see us together or separately?
Mostly together, with a few individual sessions early on so each of you can speak freely. At the start, I’ll explain how I handle anything one partner shares with me privately.
How long does affair recovery take?
It varies from couple to couple. The first crisis tends to ease with time and support. Rebuilding trust and understanding what happened usually takes longer.
Will you tell us whether to stay together?
No. Some couples rebuild and some separate. Either way, therapy helps you make the decision with a clear head rather than in the first wave of hurt.
Is This For Me?
It wasn't a physical affair. Does it still count?
If it broke an agreement you both relied on, it counts. Emotional affairs, secret apps, and hidden porn use can hurt just as much.
The affair was with someone of the same sex.
That can bring up questions about orientation on top of the betrayal. Orientation questions are a regular part of my work, and I keep them separate from the question of trust.
My partner won't come to therapy.
ou can start individually. It helps you steady yourself and think clearly about what you want next.
Where I work
NYC and all of New York State, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Florida. All sessions online.
Work With Me
Jon Prezant, LCSW, MA
INFIDELITY AND AFFAIR THERAPIST in NY, NJ, FL & NH
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- Free 15-minute consultation
- AASECT-Certified
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My Blogs
Gay Men and Porn: When It Becomes a Problem (And When It Doesn’t)
Almost everything written about gay men and porn...
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Ready for a Relationship? Why That’s the Wrong Question
Most people asking whether they’re ready for a...
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Couples Therapy and the Growth Edge: Rethinking Low Desire, Erectile Dysfunction, and Sexual Boredom
Most couples who come in for couples therapy...
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