Jon Prezant
MIXED-ORIENTATION COUPLES THERAPY
THERAPIST FOR MIXED-ORIENTATION COUPLES AND MARRIAGES
MIXED-ORIENTATION COUPLES THERAPIST
JON PREZANT, LCSW, MA, CST — AASECT-CERTIFIED SEX AND COUPLES THERAPIST
Therapy for couples where one partner is gay, bisexual, or questioning and the other is straight, whether that has been known from the start or has only just come to light. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and an AASECT-certified sex and couples therapist, and I work online across New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, and Florida.
I don’t walk in with an answer about what your relationship should become. Some couples stay together, some change the shape of their relationship, and some separate. My job isn’t to steer you toward any of those. It’s to help both of you build enough steadiness to make that decision honestly, rather than in the first wave of shock, guilt, or grief. And I never work to change anyone’s orientation.
What I work with: a partner coming out after years of marriage, discovering a partner’s same-sex relationships or apps, bisexuality that has always been part of the relationship but never fully talked about, deciding whether and how to stay together, questions about monogamy and opening a relationship, telling children, family, or a faith community, and separating in a way that protects your kids and your dignity.
I hold an MSW from Yeshiva University, an MA in Trauma and Crisis Studies from Tel Aviv University, and certification in sex therapy through AASECT and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. I live in Brooklyn with my husband and our dog, Bernie.
WHAT CLIENTS BRING IN:
AFTER A COMING OUT
One of you has said out loud what may have been true for years. The partner who came out often feels relief and guilt at once. The other is trying to take in something that rewrites the story of the marriage. We make room for both at the same time.
STAYING TOGETHER, DIFFERENTLY
Many mixed-orientation couples choose to stay together because of their history, their children, and a love that is real. Doing that well means honest conversations about desire, monogamy, and what each of you needs, rather than an unspoken arrangement.
WHEN YOU FOUND OUT
You found messages, an app, or a relationship you didn’t know about. There are two things to work through: what you discovered and how you discovered it. The betrayal and the orientation question are separate, and each needs its own attention.
ENDING WITHOUT DESTROYING EACH OTHER
If separating is right, it can still be done with care. We work on how to tell your children and family, how to keep co-parenting intact, and how to leave with your respect for each other still standing.
Your Questions, Answered.
What to expect when you start working on this.
HOW THERAPY WORKS
Will you try to keep us together?
No, and I won’t push you apart either. The goal is a decision you both arrive at with clear eyes. For some couples that means staying, and for others it means a respectful ending.
Do you see us together or separately?
Mostly together, with some individual sessions when they help. If one of you needs longer individual work, I’ll help you find a trusted colleague so the couples work stays balanced.
Can you help us open our relationship?
We can explore it, without assuming it’s the answer. Some couples find that openness works for them. Others realize it would avoid the harder conversation. We look at both possibilities honestly.
Is This For Me?
I’m the straight partner. Will a gay therapist be on my side?
I’m on the side of the relationship and of both of you. Your grief, anger, and questions matter just as much as your partner’s coming out, and I make sure they get equal time in the room.
We’re religious. Will that be a problem?
No. Much of my work is with people of faith, including in the Jewish community. We work within your values, not around them, and I never offer anything that resembles conversion therapy.
I’m not sure what my orientation is.
That’s a fine place to start. You don’t need a settled label to begin, and bisexuality is not a halfway point. It’s an orientation of its own.
Where I work
NYC and all of New York State, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Florida. All sessions online.
Work With Me
Jon Prezant, LCSW, MA
AASECT-CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST · NY, NJ, NH, FL
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- Free 15-minute consultation
- AASECT-Certified
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My Blogs
Gay Men and Porn: When It Becomes a Problem (And When It Doesn’t)
Almost everything written about gay men and porn...
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Ready for a Relationship? Why That’s the Wrong Question
Most people asking whether they’re ready for a...
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Couples Therapy and the Growth Edge: Rethinking Low Desire, Erectile Dysfunction, and Sexual Boredom
Most couples who come in for couples therapy...
Read MoreSocials
