Gay Couples Therapy in NYC

I see gay couples across New York City, all of it online. I’ve practiced here my whole career and I live in Brooklyn, so the couples I work with are usually describing a city I know from the inside. The apartment in Astoria that’s too small to have a real fight in, so the fight happens in text messages instead. The Chelsea couple who’ve been together eleven years inside a dating market that never stops advertising what else is available. The partner in Hell’s Kitchen whose job quietly became the third person in the relationship, and the one in Park Slope who’s furious about it but can’t say so without sounding unsupportive. The standing assumption, rarely said out loud, that every other gay couple in this city is having more sex than you are, or better sex, or more honestly negotiated sex.

Most of my clients tell me it mattered that I’m gay when they were deciding who to call, and mattered less once we got going. That tracks. What it buys you early is speed: you don’t spend three sessions building context, and you’re not watching my face for a reaction. After that, what carries the work is the work.

I’m a licensed clinical social worker and an AASECT-certified sex therapist. Most couples therapists have no sex therapy training, and most sex therapists don’t do sustained couples work. The overlap is where I spend my time: erections that cooperate alone but not with a partner, desire that went quiet, sex that turned into negotiation, agreements that got broken. I work from emotionally focused therapy for the attachment pattern underneath the conflict, and from differentiation-based approaches for the harder part, where each of you has to hold your own ground without leaving the room. Men’s Health has quoted my clinical work on sex and desire.

I’m licensed in New York and see couples in Westchester, on Long Island, and up the Hudson Valley, plus New Jersey, New Hampshire, and Florida. MSW from Yeshiva University, MA in Trauma and Crisis Studies from Tel Aviv University, sex therapy certification through AASECT and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. I live in Brooklyn with my husband and our dog, Bernie, and produce music when I’m not in session.